Too Much Forged in Fire

in The Life Slant by

You might be watching too much Forged in Fire if:

  • Your kids are making a fortune selling snow cones, as there is a constant supply of chopped ice.
  • You can’t watch TV because the satellite dish is in the back yard filled with coal.
  • You walk into the kitchen to see why Sunday dinner is late, to find a $35 roast beef hanging from the ceiling, your wife wielding a knife in each hand, watching a youtube clip of Doug Marcaida.
  • The beater car in your neighbor’s backyard seems to be walking away piece by piece – first the leaf springs, then the axle …

  • Neighborhood cats are dragging cleanly sliced fish heads to someplace where the two of them can be alone.
  • Most of the trees in the backyard have been reduced to branchless poles, creating the look of an abandoned settlement.
  • Instead of calming ocean sounds to sleep by, your white noise generator produces a numbing hammer to anvil clanking, backed up by 3-part neighing & whinnying.
  • You’ve begun wearing a kilt/toolbelt combo around the house, with remotes, beer and snacks in the pockets.
  • You no longer shake hands or wave, but instead greet and acknowledge people with palms together and a nod.  Namaste.
  • You start looking for a new house … near the junkyard.
  • At bedtime you stand at the bottom of the stairs and yell, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Put your toys down children – play time is over. Return to the bathroom to brush your teeth and get ready for bed. You will have ten minutes to complete this task, starting . . . . . . . . . now!.”
  • You can’t do laundry because the washing machine is filled with quench oil.
  • The local FD has you on speed dial.
  • While working on a presentation with your team at work, you acknowledge each good idea by saying, “That will keel”.
Forged - Sword
Image Credit: DailyMotion.com

 

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Reeno

–  REENO  –

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A graduate of Portland State University, Steve Kloser is the author of “Beginning Band - A Guide to Success” and “Let's Make Music - Classroom Recorder Course”. He is also an accomplished teacher, conductor and composer, having penned numerous pieces including: La Vida and Fly With Me. Teacher, web developer, Packers fan and proud American, Reeno's usually slanted outlook often presents an unlikely perspective on issues old and new. Reeno currently lives in Portland, OR. Read more at www.reeno317.me or follow Reeno on Twitter at https://twitter.com/portlandreeno.