You might be watching too much Forged in Fire if:
- Your kids are making a fortune selling snow cones, as there is a constant supply of chopped ice.
- You can’t watch TV because the satellite dish is in the back yard filled with coal.
- You walk into the kitchen to see why Sunday dinner is late, to find a $35 roast beef hanging from the ceiling, your wife wielding a knife in each hand, watching a youtube clip of Doug Marcaida.
- The beater car in your neighbor’s backyard seems to be walking away piece by piece – first the leaf springs, then the axle …
- Neighborhood cats are dragging cleanly sliced fish heads to someplace where the two of them can be alone.
- Most of the trees in the backyard have been reduced to branchless poles, creating the look of an abandoned settlement.
- Instead of calming ocean sounds to sleep by, your white noise generator produces a numbing hammer to anvil clanking, backed up by 3-part neighing & whinnying.
- You’ve begun wearing a kilt/toolbelt combo around the house, with remotes, beer and snacks in the pockets.
- You no longer shake hands or wave, but instead greet and acknowledge people with palms together and a nod. Namaste.
- You start looking for a new house … near the junkyard.
- At bedtime you stand at the bottom of the stairs and yell, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Put your toys down children – play time is over. Return to the bathroom to brush your teeth and get ready for bed. You will have ten minutes to complete this task, starting . . . . . . . . . now!.”
- You can’t do laundry because the washing machine is filled with quench oil.
- The local FD has you on speed dial.
- While working on a presentation with your team at work, you acknowledge each good idea by saying, “That will keel”.
– REENO –